TOTAL ACCEPTANCE

Brian J Hayes               

 

It is just great to be LOVED & ACCEPTED – to know that there are people who love you and accept you just as you are – to be surrounded by people who take you at `face value` ?

 

In contrast it can be horrible to be ignored - not noticed - not wanted - or even rejected ?

Have you ever walked into a room and become aware that everyone is ignoring you, or the conversation comes to an abrupt halt ! Or may be you have colleagues at work who rarely speak to you, Perhaps you’ve visited a church and no one welcomes you, or you go to a restaurant and the waiter serves people who came in after you !

 

Life is full of situations and events which can create a strong feeling of not being wanted.

It is so easy to feel REJECTED. We live in a society where so many people feel unloved and unwanted. The devil always takes advantage of any form of rejection by building on these negative events, words or actions, so reinforcing them until we expect to be ignored and rejected - we now expect that people will not accept us as we are !

 

Many children grow up in a negative environment – where their parents have rarely expressed love and may have even said `I never wanted you`.

School & work can be a place of non - acceptance which then underlines the rejection of our childhood – consequently many today live with an overwhelming feeling of low self-esteem and rejection. The devil always makes sure that our experience of being rejected is reinforced by events, words and people.

 

When I was almost 5 years old I fell into a pond near our house. It wasn’t very deep but it was scary and set up within me a fear of water. Then at a swimming pool when I was 15 someone pushed me into the water and I struggled for what seemed to be a long time before I was rescued. This reinforced my fear of water. The fact that as a family we never went swimming even though we lived by the sea meant that I never overcame this fear until I was well into my 40s when through both prayer and an excellent swimming teacher I learned to swim and now enjoy it !

 

There is great news that comes from the truth of Scripture and from the very heart of God Himself which is that we have a God, our Heavenly Father, who loves us & accepts us JUST AS WE ARE !

 

When we think of the false view that we have of ourselves which comes from the dealings of life then the truth of God’s unconditional love & acceptance is absolutely amazing !!

 

Whatever other people think about us our Heavenly Father loves & accepts us as we are in our present state ! Philip Yancey in his book `What’s so amazing about Grace` states:

`There is nothing we can do to make God love us more

And there is nothing I can do that will make God love me less`

 

That’s total acceptance which comes about because of God’s incredible GRACE

 

1 John 3:1 declares: How great is the love the Father has bestowed / lavished upon us................

Ephesians 1:4 (Message version) says: Long before He laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of His love

 

God our Father’s attitude to each one of us is:

I will accept you as you are – but I will also change you into My likeness.

 

This truth of our Father’s great love for us has to do with not just KNOWING but also EXPERIENCING the great love the Father has for us.

A good translation of 1 John 4:16 says: We have known and believed in the love God has for us.

`Known` here has the sense of receiving knowledge which comes by revelation

`Believed`here has the sense of actually experiencing God’s love as a present, ongoing, daily experience as this verse is in the present perfect tense.

 

We are to experience God’s love for ourselves and this happens when we allow Jesus, through the work of the Spirit, to connect us to a Father we’ve forgotten or neglected.

Many christians are fatherless — Christ centred, yes – but do not know God as their Father even though intellectually they know that God is love

Jesus came to bring us to His Father (and our Father)

The mission of Jesus was to bring us to the Father. Jesus said that no one comes to the Father except through Him (John 14:6)

The mission of Jesus - the work of the gospel - is not fully accomplished IN US until we are brought into the arms of our loving Heavenly Father because God desires that each one of us has the SAME kind of relationship as He has with His Son Jesus - our elder brother.

 

When we are in our Father’s embrace – when we abide in God who is love

HE becomes the source of IDENTITY - defining WHO WE ARE

HE becomes the place of our SECURITY - the One Whom we trust and lean upon.

and therefore the place where we need to live each day needs to be in His embrace (abiding in Him) because from near to His heart, life, people events take on a different perspective as all our ACTIVITY comes from that place of REST that is in Him, the PEACE that is in His heart which means we are enveloped in His Presence.

 

As we saw in our introductory study -

Today many christians are experiencing what I am talking about. Many are coming into a new understanding of what it means to be loved by a Father who accepts us totally. Although we may have known the truth that God is love, the Holy Spirit is bringing a revelation that previously we did not have. Remember, God is revealed not discovered. Intellectually we can try and discover God but we only `know` Him, we only really experience that love relationship with Him when the Holy Spirit chooses to reveal Our Father to us.

 

Jesus knew that He was TOTALLY ACCEPTED by His Father Who loved Him, approved of Him, and was delighted in Him.

This was because before doing any ministry Jesus heard his father say: You are my Son whom I love and in whom, I delight. (Matt 3:17) and from that place of security, acceptance and assurance Jesus ministered on this earth.

 

The Holy Spirit wants to bring those same words of acceptance and approval from our Heavenly Father’s heart into your heart. You are loved and accepted !

As we saw in our introductory study REVELATION is the key to “experiencing”.

Paul writes: I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you may know him better. The context of this verse is `the glorious Father` and the purpose of the Spirit of wisdom and revelation is so that we can know Him (the glorious Father) better ! The Greek word for `revelation` is `apokolupto` and conveys the idea of `drawing back the curtain, or revealing something which was previously hidden.

The Greek word which in this verse is translated `know` is the word `epignosis` which conveys the idea of a complete and full knowledge, that is knowing Him better, and that only comes through an ongoing revelation.

 

Over recent years most of us will have heard some teaching about the Father heart of God and this teaching is showing us a different God to the One many of us have followed and served for many years.....a God who loves and accepts us completely

 

His total acceptance of each one of us is because of His OUTRAGEOUS GRACE which flows from His INCOMPREHENSIBLE LOVE which comes out of His COMPLETE FORGIVENESS.

Now each one of these truths are huge subjects in themselves which may be in the future we can deal with more fully.

 

Your Heavenly Father LOVES you just as you are and ACCEPTS you just as you are, so the question I have for you is: Have you experienced a revelation of His love ?

 

Receiving God’s unconditional love & acceptance is easy

COMPARED WITH GIVING IT AWAY IN OUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE & ACCEPTANCE OF EACH OTHER

Among some families and close relatives it may well be that love for each other has a degree of total acceptance but in most families and certainly in our circle of friends this is a rarity.

Then in church life it is almost non-existent !

 

I want you to think of the people in your church. Can you say to each and every one of them:

`There is nothing you can do to make me love you more than I already do` And there is nothing you can do that will stop me loving you ? I doubt it !!

 

Is your church one that lives in total acceptance and complete forgiveness ? As followers of Christ it should be ! Jesus said: A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

 

 

Jesus is challenging us as His disciples to love each other in the SAME way as He has loved us and He loves us totally – unconditionally – consistently and sacrificially, which means that THE CHURCH should be the place where the grace of God is most demonstrated through LOVE -- ACCEPTANCE - and FORGIVENESS

 

God’s amazing LOVE, His total ACCEPTANCE of us , and His constant forgiveness of each

is all because of His GRACE. That's a major subject on its own, but let’s remind ourselves that the central CHARACTERISTIC of “grace” is LOVE and because of His grace God’s love has no conditions attached. We cannot do anything to deserve God’s love - and for that reason it is called GRACE; and we can do nothing to provoke God’s love and grace as it is already there - constant !!

 

So as sons & daughters of a Father who is full of `grace` and motivated by `love`

- what should we be full of - what should we be motivated by ?

Yes ! that SAME grace & love. The same unconditional love & acceptance which God shows to each one of us should flow through us to others - because - from the fulness of His grace we have all received. (John 1:14)

 

We cannot REPAY Grace – BUT WE CAN RESPOND TO GRACE !!

 

If you are barred from entering a foreign country you are said to be `persona non-grata`

- a person without grace. We live in a world which is devoid of GRACE which shows itself in

intolerance, impatience, annoyance and anger. The world brings these responses into their every day living and into their dealings with other people. We kind of expect `ordinary people` to act and react in that way, with intolerance, impatience, annoyance and anger, but it is a `criminal offence` that these and many other aspects of non-grace are also encountered in the local church because this then means that the church is very often a “disgrace”

 

            In so many churches, and therefore in the lives of individual christians:

            instead of forgiveness there is revenge,

            instead of healing there is wounding,

            instead of compassion there is competition

            instead of gratitude there is resentment.

 

For many people instead of the church receiving them and healing them, it makes them feel worse - yet the church should be a haven of grace !

 

GRACE should make the church attractive because no one else but the church can offer God’s grace & love and because no one else but God’s children are recipients of his outrageous grace and overwhelming love. So the question we need to ask ourselves is: What do people receive from us ?

 

At the `core` of God’s grace, His overwhelming love and total acceptance

is FORGIVENESS

God’s love has `forgiveness` at it’s heart

God’s acceptance means that He is `forgiving`

The Gospel is about `forgiveness`

We are sons & daughters of a Father whose `love` & `acceptance` means He is `forgiving` - all the time ! He is the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. (Ex 34:6)

So - what should we be full of - what should we be motivated by ?

Yes ! that SAME constant forgiveness

 

UNFORTUNATELY:

OUR LOVE and acceptance usually comes with conditions and requirements such as I’ll love you and accept you if you are on my wavelength; if you agree with me; if you have similar interests

Our forgiveness is usually on our terms and very rarely initiated by us even though Scripture makes it very clear that we should initiate forgiveness if we know someone has something against us as well as when we have something against someone

 

Matthew 6: 14-15 states that our Heavenly Father cannot forgive our sin when we do not forgive the sins of others !! For if you forgive others when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Unfortunately in most churches today (including those churches who seek to emphasis the Father Heart of God) we still do not accept each other IN THE SAME WAY as God accepts and forgives us.

 

            We still criticise and harbour grudges and bitterness

            We refuse to forgive one another and act coldly towards each other

We are good at biting and devouring one another, which are the strong words used by Paul in Galatians 5:14: The entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each otherr.

 

So the question we need to ask ourselves is do we love, accept & forgive each other IN THE SAME WAY as God in Christ loves, accepts & forgives each one of us ?

 

As I mentioned earlier, the Church is not always a safe place but a place where people get hurt and even destroyed !!

 

This is a 21st century issue which needs to be addressed because the church cannot go on in the way it has now for centuries, for this has been one problem which has followed the church since its inception - Christ’s command to love one another is constantly ignored.

 

Paul challenged christians to live in harmony, to stop gossiping and destroying one another and so doing the devil’s work – but we have yet to see a generation who in this matter will walk in the ways of the Lord.

 

 

We get very excited about raising up a generation which will take `the land` (meaning the country we live in). We talk a lot about the church being the prophetic answer to the nations, and many other grandiose visions – but fail to realise that UNTIL we conqueror our internal self destruct mechanism we are neither going to take this nation, significantly impact the nations, or be ready for Christ’s return !!

 

So will we be part of the generation that sees Christ’s command to love one another in the same way as He loves us !! I do not believe this will happen UNTIL we give as much attention to the GREAT COMMANDMENT as we do to the GREAT COMMISSION !!

 

So many churches are busily engaged in fulfilling Matthew 28:19-20: Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you – but very weak on their love for God (personal relationship) and their love for each other (inter-personal relationships) as set out in Mark 12: 30 - 31: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."

 

The bible clearly says: If anyone says, `I love God,` yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother. (1 John 4:20-21)

Nothing could be clearer or more straightforward. Declaring we love God when we do not love each other is a complete sham !

 

These verses are preceded by verse 19: We love because He first loved us. Any love we have and give away in worship back to God our Father, or to each other as members of Christ’s Body, or to the world made up of those who are not yet christians – that love comes from the heart of God the Father in the first place. HE is the SOURCE of all love. When we interpret verses 20-21 in the context of the whole passage we are being shown that by not allowing God’s love to flow through us to others we are in fact misusing the love we have first received from God our Father.

 

If we think beyond the church to the world around us we are again clearly told that: By this will all men know that you are my disciples, if you love one another (John 13:35).

 

We cannot receive the Father’s love and keep it to ourselves !

There is a world out there that needs to know that there is a Father who loves them !

But first there is the Body of Christ - the Church - who must be recipients of our

unconditional love & acceptance otherwise there will be no flow of power & anointing from the heart of God through us

 

Could this be the reason for so little success in many aspects of our evangelism – that we try and miss out this important step ? We received the love of God for ourselves and then try and give it away to those who are not yet christians but miss out the church. Could it be that for outreach to be effective we first have to demonstrate our love for one another !! PEOPLE SEE before they LISTEN !! Freely you have received, freely give (Matt 10:8)

Are we ? First to our fellow christians and then to this world

 

SURELY it has to be different to what it is at the moment ! If by love men and women know that we are Christians then something has to happen in the church which makes it a safe place to come into and not a place where we bite and devour one another and even destroy one another (Gal 5:15)

 

Are we `the church of ONE HEART`, that is a church where the believers were one in heart & mind (Acts 4:32). Are LOVE -- ACCEPTANCE -- FORGIVENESS the `hallmarks` of our local church. The even more penetrating question is: Are these our / your characteristics ?

 

 

I believe that most of us have a problem in that we rarely see others as God in Jesus sees them.

We rarely accept others as the Father accepts them, and even when I genuinely forgive I still judge others and expect a certain response from them.

 

I fail to believe in them even though I know that 1 Cor 13 says: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 

I lock people into their history and imprison them in their past ! I preserve them in a time warp and I don`t allow for change, so I have expectations of them based on the past

 

The best thing we can do with the failures of the past - whether they are our failures or the failures of other - is to let them be history. Yes, it happened and certainly it hurt and may be it still hurts but when someone has acknowledged their failure and asked for our forgiveness we have no alternative but to forgive them and to release them

We cannot erase the past, but we can accept it as history. We can choose to live today free from the failures of yesterday

 

Now the devil loves to hold us in the past so that the past can be like a ball & chain round our ankles as we try and walk into the future.

 

Furthermore I do the devil’s work when I do not accept others as God in Christ accepts me and when I do not allow in others for the `work in progress` that they are as a vessel in the molding hands of the Divine Potter. We need to remember that the Cross means complete forgiveness and total acceptance by GOD and of EACH OTHER

 

CONCLUSION

 

As said earlier, when we remind ourselves how God loves & accepts each one of us, it is a reminder of His outrageous grace, and the bible says that: from the fulness of His grace we have all received. (John 1:14). It also says: And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. (2 Cor 9:8)

This means that we can have sufficient grace to deal with each and every local church situation and person !!

 

Can we apply this study to ourselves ?

•                      By asking the Holy Spirit to reveal the love of our Heavenly Father to us ?

 

•                      By seeking to relate to each other in the same ways as God in Christ relates to us - in total acceptance

 

If you are doing this study in a group then may I suggest that right now you pray with a number of people first expressing APPRECIATION for them, for who they are in God and then praying with them: `Father......keep your love, acceptance & forgiveness flowing between us..............`